Individual Therapy

Everyone would agree that our modern life…

… with all its complexity… can be stressful – if not downright overwhelming. It often moves at a pace that is hard to comprehend.

Many, many people are experiencing elevated levels of anxiety and distress at the same time that our culture is telling us we should be happy, content, and at peace. Often, we are doing everything we can just to find things and people to hold onto for that feeling of safety and security.

It can feel like endless exhaustion!

So, you’re not alone…

Anxiety, in all its forms, is a common condition of humanity. Yet, sometimes the anxiety can feel like a catastrophe is going to happen and you are to blame. Or maybe your anxiety makes you worry that there is just something fundamentally wrong with you, your body, your relationships, or the world – and you just need to “make it right.”

When a thought pops in your head, leads to a high level of distress, and you can’t get rid of it, it might be time to start wondering if you are suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This fairly common condition has many facets that aren’t commonly known, like; the presence of negative self-talk, confessing, apologizing, seeking reassurance, and avoidance! Not to mention the more classic sign of excessive hand washing and other ways that our brain tells us how to “protect ourselves” and be “in control!”

Other ways that OCD can manifest can be through rituals/habits or mental “tricks” you use to bring down the distress caused by thoughts or circumstances. These can include things like; checking over and over, counting in your head every time you have that scary thought, calling your partner for reassurance that everything is alright, avoiding people or places because you know that you will have anxiety.

All of these coping strategies work at the beginning. They make you feel calmer and “in control;” until they start to take over, and you no longer can ignore the urges or not do the rituals even if you want to. These ‘actions’ that helped in the beginning seem to take on a life of their own and are in charge.

OCD is an organic condition…

Some brains are just stickier than others; but the thoughts that pop in are common to all humans.

Most people have had the random thought of driving over a cliff while sightseeing in the mountains; or the thought of being attracted sexually to someone you know you shouldn’t be, or thinking that everyone is staring at you for saying that thing – and now they hate you.

Thoughts are just thoughts. They are not intentions or actions or wishes or desires. They have no power in and of themselves. This realm of our thoughts is where OCD lives. It uses the randomness of many of our thoughts to make us question ourselves, our reality, and our very sanity.

Sometimes, we have a terrible thought of hurting someone we love. For people without OCD, that thought just passes right on out of the brain. For those with OCD, that thought causes the person to start down a path of self-recrimination, “What kind of person could think that? Do I really want that? How could I think that? I must be a monster?!,” etc. This then can blow up into a whole worry storm and take a lot of time and focus from the person worrying about this “unknown.”

If punishment for our thoughts were warranted, the whole world would literally be in prison! Just think about the road rage at strangers that is fairly common in our world, let alone actual conflict and the things we think while engaged in it!

OCD causes disturbing thoughts to stick and bring distress to the person thinking it. This is different from choosing to think a thought, like nursing a grudge or more positively, thinking about the beauty of nature or your family. OCD lives in the world of the intrusive random thought that causes distress and won’t leave.

But the good news is that it is treatable!

And here’s how we’ll treat it…

First, OCD treatment is about more than exposure work. Exposure and Ritual Prevention is the gold standard for treating OCD, and it works.

In a nutshell, what we do together is face your fears head on without using any of your current coping methods for dealing with the anxiety and distress that those fears bring. It sounds scary – and it is. But the good news is that we go at your pace and what we find is that there are often areas of your life impacted by OCD that are “easier” to start with. The tools and techniques you will be able to use at home and any time that OCD tries to jump into your life with a worry storm.

A large part of the therapy we will do together is changing the negative self-talk. One of the tell-tale signs of OCD is the presence of negative self-talk. This is one of the ways that OCD can cause a lot of misery and leave you feeling unconfident and defeated. A large part of the work is building your confidence and self-esteem, as these are the very things you need to stand up to the OCD and face those fears.

Part of the work of therapy is to get to a place where we fully care but don’t have a drive or need to “carry” those we love and worry about. This part of the therapy is to look at the places where OCD may have fostered co-dependency in our relationships and work to replace that with inter-dependency. This work often involves using Gestalt Therapy, which is the process of looking at our past and finding those memories and people that may have caused us distress, and working through these situations. This is work that is done as a process of self-validation and is not part of restoration or other types of relational work.

Occasionally, I find some clients have a history of trauma that OCD is using as a basis for the distress and worry. When that is identified, we can talk about the option of using EMDR, which is the evidence-based therapy for PTSD and trauma. This therapy is amazingly effective in processing out the distress caused by trauma. This type of work is usually done after the OCD is being managed well, and the client has confidence in their skills.

In general, treatment usually follows the steps of:

1. Treat the OCD first!
2. While treating the OCD with exposure work, also talk about and do work on the other aspects of life that are impacted by OCD like self-esteem and co-dependency. This is the Gestalt Therapy work.
3. This can lead to treating hurts from the past with EMDR. Not always is this necessary or warranted.
4. Finally, we develop a long-term plan that means phasing out therapy and eventually graduating!

OCD can be wily, so we’ll stay open to trying different things to keep after it!

During our initial appointment…

We’ll discuss all these things and more, including how often you want to come to therapy. There is no “right way” to do therapy, but it’s usually helpful to meet every week.

Sometimes meeting more frequently at the start of therapy can be beneficial to get a good start and gain some traction. Other times, it makes sense to meet every other week.

Eventually, after treatment is going well, we might meet once a month, then every three months, then you graduate!

The most important thing is to start!

Whether at your home or in my office, we’ll work together to change the rules that OCD makes… where it always wins, leaving you the loser every time, locked up in anxiety and uncertainty.

We’ll start with things that are not so distressing and progress at the pace that you decide. I’ll also give you “homework” in between sessions to accelerate your progress and reduce the time you spend in therapy.

I provide gentle accountability… but never judgment or authority. You do not need to ever make me happy, because it’s your therapy and your success!

Let’s talk and schedule your free 30-minute consultation to discuss the treatment in detail: (970) 541-2862