No shame and no blame!
OCD often has its first big flare-up in the tween or teen years!
These are the years when humans change a lot!
Our brains and bodies are having another huge growth spurt as hormones start becoming more prevalent. Developmentally, children are starting to differentiate from their parents and are investigating their own beliefs and desires.
Typically, this is when children start realizing that the world is made up of shades of grey and that it is often confusing and stressful. The realm of uncertainty and stress is where OCD can have a lot of power, as it offers the illusion of control in a world where most things are far beyond our control.
OCD can cause conflict and distress for families…
All this tumult is well known in our culture. But the feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness that comes with OCD can lead to trouble in the family or at school.
Often parents feel powerless because they can’t help their child feel better. No matter how good at solutions a parent is, OCD just doesn’t respond to facts, logic, or reassurance. This can sometimes feel maddening as parents try to talk their child out of the worries of rituals, only to have their child have a meltdown or panic attack.
… leaving EVERYONE feeling bad.
Your child also is feeling helpless as they have experienced parts of themselves or their lives hijacked by OCD to keep the anxiety at bay or “in control.” A person with OCD often can experience life as if there is a mean monster or thief in their brain making demands and taking their time, or their peace, their words, or their friends and family, all in the name of making them feel ‘safer’ and more ‘perfect.’
Parents can feel helpless as they try to use the power that they do have to help their child work through these issues, worries, and problems usually with little effect. OCD is just strong and often unrelenting to reason or love or parental authority.
The good news is that there is hope and there is treatment! And even though treatment is about “going to therapy” which can have some stigma attached to it, it is a treatment that is about giving your child the tools and skills to effectively manage their OCD on their own and building the belief that this is even possible. The power to conquer OCD rests in your child’s hands, but part of the work is to make sure that parents also know how to support their child in this work in ways that promote success.
Treatment is never about assigning blame…
It’s about loosening the hold that OCD can have in the life of your child and family.
Therapy starts with a lot of education about how OCD operates and how the treatment works. Usually, most teens prefer to spend their sessions alone with me while my tween clients sometimes choose to have one or both parents more actively involved in sessions. I leave it up to the family to decide the level of direct parental involvement, but I am always available to the parent to answer questions about the nature of the treatment and how they can be supportive in a general way.
The emphasis is on empowering the child to stand up to OCD and find the strength to tolerate the distress and the thoughts. We always start with small steps that are doable so that your child experiences success and grows in confidence. We work up to the bigger things. Often by the time we get to those issues, the overall power of OCD has been diminished, and they are not nearly as scary as before the treatment began.
I never “push” my clients. The OCD already can feel like a bully pushing them around and punishing them when they don’t comply with the compulsions. I work with my clients to come up with exposure exercises that are doable for the client, and then I support the client through this work. Then I hold the client accountable to also come up with exercises and ways that they will work on the OCD in between sessions for greater effectiveness.
Typically, I see clients for a 50-minute therapy “hour” once a week. However, the robust nature of the treatment makes it such that we can accommodate your schedule and time frame.
Keeping the family involved…
It can also be helpful to have a “family session” every so often. Here, we can discuss how treatment is going and troubleshoot ways in which OCD might be inadvertently accommodated in the life of the family.
Often parents have many questions about how to support treatment, and I am available to answer these. Please note that this is not family therapy, and the client with OCD is always the one that I am treating.
It might feel as though OCD is in charge…
… but we can change this reality!
Let’s start with a 30-minute free consultation to discuss how to help your child conquer OCD and how treatment can help.
Don’t’ wait any longer… get the support and treatment that your child needs!
Call me today and let’s talk: (970) 541-2862